Nib #15: Dress for the Occasion

Most speeches are — and should be — workaday things. People don’t come to PTA meetings or subcommittee hearings for spellbinding rhetoric. And most speech-givers can’t deliver it anyway. So part of a speechwriter’s job is dressing for the occasion.


The writers of President Biden’s State of the Union Address last month failed this test when they gassed up his peroration with this:


“I see a future where we defend democracy not diminish it. I see a future where we restore the right to choose and protect other freedoms not take them away. I see a future where the middle class finally has a fair shot and the wealthy finally have to pay their fair share in taxes. I see a future where we save the planet from the climate crisis and our country from gun violence. 


“Above all, I see a future for all Americans! I see a country for all Americans!”


The writers here are employing anaphora — the rhetorical technique of beginning successive sentences with the same phrase to create poetic rhythm. The problem isn’t the writing, as such. The problem is… Joe Biden is not a prophet!


No one sees him as a visionary leader like an Abraham Lincoln, a Martin Luther King, or even a Barack Obama. And with good reason! Biden himself has curated a down-to-earth, back-slapping personal brand for more than 50 years. His entire 2020 presidential campaign was based on the man’s practiced familiarity and normalcy.


But rather than lean into that vibe — and play to their boss’s strengths — Biden’s staff instead committed the cardinal sin of speechwriting: they wrote for themselves instead of the strategy. Joe Biden’s big-speech perorations should be folksy and self-effacing. His rhetorical model should be Bob Cratchit, not Henry V. By ignoring this, Biden’s speechwriters actually undermined their own speech, their boss, and his broader political strategy.


The lesson for speechwriters here: don't bring kale-foam to a cookout or wear a ballgown to a ballgame. Tailor your text to the speaker, the moment, and the strategy -- never your ego.


Until next week… keep writing!

17 May, 2024
It’s the writer’s job to persuade, not the audience’s *to be* persuaded. To move readers from A to B, you have to meet them at A.
10 May, 2024
The Nib of the Week’s frequent criticism of President Joe Biden’s speeches belies the soft spot I’ll always have for the guy. So it was nice to see Ole Joe give a pretty good speech about the snarling “encampments” besetting America’s college campuses this Spring. Let’s dive in. The speech begins poorly, alas, with a muddled riff about “fundamental American principles” and some bush-league partisan preening about “authoritarianism” and “those who rush in to score political points.” But then the tone shifts. “Violent protest is not protected [by our Constitution]; peaceful protest is. It’s against the law when violence occurs.” The language is a bit stilted there, but Biden soon hits his stride. In quick succession, he calls out: “destroying property … vandalism, trespassing, breaking windows, shutting down campuses, forcing the cancellation of classes and graduations … threatening people, intimidating people, instilling fear.” Note the hard, prosecutorial word choices. Then, Biden goes even further, aligning himself with the students the encampments are harassing. Then, God love him, Biden goes there: “There should be no place on any campus, no place in America for antisemitism or threats of violence against Jewish students… There is no place for racism in America. It’s all wrong. It’s un-American.” Conservative readers may question why anyone should give the president credit for a belated and banal endorsement of basic justice and American political norms. But look more closely at what the president did here: he punched, effectively, to his left. Biden’s biggest problems this election year are the public perceptions that (a) he is a bumbling incompetent in mental decline, and (b) he shares the woke extremism of the New Left. This speech pushes back on both narratives. Biden energetically indicts the encampments’ criminal tactics and then outright condemns their motivating, anti-Semitic bigotry -- targeting the very voters Biden and Democrats need to win in November. Theretofore, most elite Democrats had tried to thread various rhetorical needles on the encampments. “Criticizing Israel isn’t anti-Semitic!” “99% of the protesters are peaceful!” “Rioting is the language of the unheard!” Biden, by contrast, shoves through the bothsidesism like a snowplow. Riots are bad, period . Anti-Semitism is bad, period . Shutting down colleges is bad, period . No doubt some in the White House wanted more nuance, more “but of course…”, more attacks against Republicans or even — gulp — Israel. But those would have compromised the mission of the speech, which was to re-assert Biden’s membership in the United States of Normal, Everyday Americans. Good on him — and whoever in the White House speech-approval process kept the text on the rails. The lesson for young writers — when an issue arises enabling you to triangulate with 97% of the country against a tiny fringe of mouthy, racist criminals, be like Joe and don’t overthink it. Moral clarity still works. Until next week… keep writing!
03 May, 2024
Writers of English should want to use graphic, bracing, sticky words. As Will Strunk and E.B. White put it in The Elements of Style, “Anglo-Saxon is a livelier tongue than Latin, so use Anglo-Saxon words.”
26 Apr, 2024
It’s not a coincidence that the two best floor speeches of the week — from Republicans on either side of the party’s internal populist-internationalist divide — contained no insults at all.
12 Apr, 2024
Instead of inclusive and inspiring, Biden’s peroration was inexplicably petty, discriminatory, and self-contradictory… to no benefit!
05 Apr, 2024
That President Joe Biden’s 2024 SOTU ended poorly is neither surprising nor especially damning. But the comprehensiveness of his peroration’s failure is worth young writers’ attention.
29 Mar, 2024
There was another glaring unforced error in the text of Biden's 2024 State of the Union address: its misuse and abuse of personal pronouns.
22 Mar, 2024
Democracies run on persuasion. You can’t make people agree with you.
20 Mar, 2024
Persuasion depends on empathy. Empathy is about shared stories. And good stories have good beginnings.
Nikki Haley's Clever Pivot
08 Mar, 2024
Speeches ending political campaigns are tough. Not only must they (unconvincingly) put a happy face on defeat. They also self-execute old news.
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