Nib #14: Biden’s Botched SOTU, Part 4: Inspiring… divisiveness?

The emotional climax of a speech is called the “peroration.” Think Martin Luther King’s “Free at last, free at least, thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” Or Mel Gibson in Braveheart: “… our enemies may take our lives, but they’ll never take our FREEDOM!”

Not every speech needs an inspiring conclusion. Sometimes you want to throttle back, depending on the audience, topic, setting, and goal. But in 99.9% of speeches, even if the moment doesn’t call for soaring poetry, you at least want the ending to be unifying, inclusive, and inviting.

President Biden’s State of the Union Address last month failed this test so badly, so counterproductively, I feel like it must have been added by someone outside the White House speechwriting office.

SOTU Peroration Fail #2: All Americans … except you!

Here is the relevant text:

“I see a future where we defend democracy not diminish it. I see a future where we restore the right to choose and protect other freedoms not take them away. I see a future where the middle class finally has a fair shot and the wealthy finally have to pay their fair share in taxes. I see a future where we save the planet from the climate crisis and our country from gun violence.

“Above all, I see a future for all Americans! I see a country for all Americans! And I will always be a president for all Americans! Because I believe in America! I believe in you the American people.

Those “nots” in the first paragraph are straight cringe. Biden is using the peroration — the emotional, “come-on-board-and-join-the-team” section of his biggest speech of the year — to… exclude a lot of people!

Earlier in the speech, Biden established that people who “diminish democracy” refers to everyone thinking about voting for Donald Trump. And that “take [rights] away” bit means people who lean pro-life.

In other words, Biden’s “vision for the country” explicitly excludes about half the country!

Why? Why would he do this? It helps literally no one… except maybe Donald Trump!

And then, as if to put this nonsense on stilts, the president immediately pivots to, “Above all, I see a future for all Americans! I see a country for all Americans!” Except… no! You don’t! Go read the previous paragraph! You just excluded 150 million people from that future, for no reason other than partisan tingles!

Instead of inclusive and inspiring - or at least back-slappingly bonhomie-ish like Biden usually tries to be — the peroration becomes petty, discriminatory, and self-contradictory… to no benefit!

“I see a future where we defend our democracy … where all our freedoms are protected … where the middle class finally has a fair shot.”

But no. That might have appealed to … too many voters! Sigh.

The lesson this week: if a speech meant to persuade people requires contrasts, partisanship, and even attacks — and many do! — don’t put those things at the end. It will leave a bad taste in the audience’s mouth. Close with unity and uplift.

Until next week… keep writing!

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Nib #19: Meet Your Audience Where They Are

17 May, 2024

It’s the writer’s job to persuade, not the audience’s *to be* persuaded. To move readers from A to B, you have to meet them at A.

Nib #18: Joe Biden’s Pretty Good Campus Chaos Speech

10 May, 2024

The Nib of the Week’s frequent criticism of President Joe Biden’s speeches belies the soft spot I’ll always have for the guy. So it was nice to see Ole Joe give a pretty good speech about the snarling “encampments” besetting America’s college campuses this Spring. Let’s dive in. The speech begins poorly, alas, with a muddled riff about “fundamental American principles” and some bush-league partisan preening about “authoritarianism” and “those who rush in to score political points.” But then the tone shifts. “Violent protest is not protected [by our Constitution]; peaceful protest is. It’s against the law when violence occurs.” The language is a bit stilted there, but Biden soon hits his stride. In quick succession, he calls out: “destroying property … vandalism, trespassing, breaking windows, shutting down campuses, forcing the cancellation of classes and graduations … threatening people, intimidating people, instilling fear.” Note the hard, prosecutorial word choices. Then, Biden goes even further, aligning himself with the students the encampments are harassing. Then, God love him, Biden goes there: “There should be no place on any campus, no place in America for antisemitism or threats of violence against Jewish students… There is no place for racism in America. It’s all wrong. It’s un-American.” Conservative readers may question why anyone should give the president credit for a belated and banal endorsement of basic justice and American political norms. But look more closely at what the president did here: he punched, effectively, to his left. Biden’s biggest problems this election year are the public perceptions that (a) he is a bumbling incompetent in mental decline, and (b) he shares the woke extremism of the New Left. This speech pushes back on both narratives. Biden energetically indicts the encampments’ criminal tactics and then outright condemns their motivating, anti-Semitic bigotry -- targeting the very voters Biden and Democrats need to win in November. Theretofore, most elite Democrats had tried to thread various rhetorical needles on the encampments. “Criticizing Israel isn’t anti-Semitic!” “99% of the protesters are peaceful!” “Rioting is the language of the unheard!” Biden, by contrast, shoves through the bothsidesism like a snowplow. Riots are bad, period . Anti-Semitism is bad, period . Shutting down colleges is bad, period . No doubt some in the White House wanted more nuance, more “but of course…”, more attacks against Republicans or even — gulp — Israel. But those would have compromised the mission of the speech, which was to re-assert Biden’s membership in the United States of Normal, Everyday Americans. Good on him — and whoever in the White House speech-approval process kept the text on the rails. The lesson for young writers — when an issue arises enabling you to triangulate with 97% of the country against a tiny fringe of mouthy, racist criminals, be like Joe and don’t overthink it. Moral clarity still works. Until next week… keep writing!